Jaycee, Levi, Lucas and Weston in our new front yard in Idaho Falls June 3, 2000 |
This is an account of the beginning of life with my best friend. Our decision to move away from all we knew and loved...for the search of what we believed.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Moving to a new town, New state, and New life...
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Remembering Memorial Day
In the past, I have went to the family graveyard, used by the church we grew up in, and placed silk, and fresh flowers on graves.
My mother, and her mother, would recycle Styrofoam shapes from funerals, and fill them with silk flowers. They'd place them on my grandpa's grave, and then other family members.
My grandma would store them in her big garage and wait for the following year to use the same arrangement, until it got too faded (which was many years of use) and then she'd replace the flowers, or my mother would re-do the arrangement.
I placed roses or rhododendrons from our yard, or my grandma's yard, on my cousin's grave, my grandpa's grave, aunts and uncles, and some children of our family, or friends that I felt close to.
There were memories of when those loved ones were alive, we'd visit the graveyard and take pictures. That was about the extent of our "celebration" of that day.
After moving away from OR, and having two more children, when we were in OR on that special weekend, we'd visit the graveyard, and bring flowers from the yard.
Memorial day wasn't a big patriotic celebration in our family, just a day to remember those we loved that died, a day of decorating graves, and no school.
I'm thankful that is not what my family currently celebrates. Though we can remember loved ones that have passed, it just has a different meaning to us now.
Having three boys participate in Cub Scouts, and later Boy Scouts, Memorial day has had events that take us into our community and to properly observe the meaning of our freedom in the country we live.
This memorial day, as I went to Tahoma National Cemetery with my son and his cub scout pack, we remembered fallen service men, and their wives, fallen service women and their husbands, who were buried in these hallowed grounds.
The cub scouts went through sections of graves and straightened the flags so they weren't leaning or falling to pay some respect and offer a thank you for those that served our country and are no longer with us.
It was so moving to see these young boys from 1st grade through 4th grade bending over, straightening flags, and honoring the ones that made the sacrifice to defend us.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Where to go from there...
I shopped for groceries, we kept with our swimming lessons, we didn't hide in shame because of our choice to stop singing 10 songs and try to find what Christ really meant for us. But when you enter an aisle in a store, with your shopping cart, and you come face to face with someone that you used to see twice a week, it's uncomfortable to say the least.
I had no problem smiling, and saying, "Hi." I think they did though. IF I caught any one's glimpse, they were usually looking down, or turned their head the other way, as not to "see me". Not so inconspicuous though, they couldn't hide from me, nor was I trying to make myself a spectacle. I'd just as soon not run into any one I knew from there.
One instance of "not making eye contact" with current "members" was at the Thriftway Post Office {which I know is no longer standing}
My oldest son, -4 years old at the time- and I went to get packing tape and that's the location we went to. There was a gal in line, about 4 people in front of her, maybe two behind her. She was just a year or so older than me, married to a cousin of mine, and she had tried to convince me to come back to "church" She emailed me that she'd even sit by me if I did.
She knew my son and I were there, I wanted to say Hi, but I knew she didn't. I wasn't about to cause a scene or make her more uncomfortable than she obviously already was!
So, we got our packing supplies and headed to check out, walking directly passed her, without either of us acknowledging each other.
That was strange. Weird, no one else we knew was around, so it wasn't like anyone would have "seen her" or had to "shun her" because she smiled or said hello to us.
I pitied those types of people, and I still feel sorry for them that the way they treat others that "leave" is what they think they're supposed to do.
We had put our house up for sale, (by owner) and within the time we placed an ad in the newspaper, we got an offer. We were walked through the closing of the sale by an acquaintance, and we were moving!
God was watching out for us through this whole process, and we praise him today for this intervention He had in our lives. Who's house sells in less than a few days? Well, God can make anything possible.
So, we weren't sure when we'd be "going into management" or moving wherever God wanted to put us, so, we bought a trailer house (mostly for our upcoming hunting trip) but we weren't sure if we'd be living in it either!
After our hunting trip, we parked our trailer house at my husband's parent's house and stayed with them until we found an apartment that we could rent until the destination had been chosen. I think that took a month and a half, maybe two.
We finally settled into our cozy two bedroom apartment, in Milwaukie, waiting. Training, meeting, and waiting for the boss to say go.
Well, it didn't take long, and the boss said GO!
We applied at Redding, CA. Looked at homes, tried to figure out if we'd be making a life there.
No. Not the right fit for us.
Just a few days after our return, I remember getting a phone call, "East Idaho Falls!" he said with such enthusiasm, I could tell by his voice he was smiling, "750 miles away!" he wasn't kidding.
"Where?" I asked...in confusion. Idaho was a bit of a dreaded word growing up...I wasn't sure what to think of this. I got on the computer, and started finding out where he was talking about.
The orange color on the map at the right, is considered Bonneville County. That is where Idaho Falls is located. The red area on the map at the left is where Clackamas County is located, in OR. this store is a long way away.
"There's an opening in East Idaho Falls." He explained. They want us to go tomorrow.
Wow, that was fast.
That was the day before Mother's day!
"OK, I'll start packing." so I packed up a bag for the boys to stay with Grandma and Grandpa for a few days, and I packed a change of clothes and work clothes for my husband.
We got on the road, and made it to the OR/ID border.
{which I later found out Ore~Ida is located there...you know, the frozen potato company?!}
Makes sense now doesn't it?
There was a run-down motel that we found, and decided it was better than falling asleep on the highway.
That Mother's Day morning, we made the trek into Idaho Falls. We arrived by evening, dinner time, and were a bit uneasy feeling. I think it had to do with the altitude.
We drove into the store parking lot, and thought, "Wow"...it was sharing a parking lot with a Taco Bell, right next to a gas station/car wash. Not the cleanest store we'd visited, not what we were really expecting, but what we wanted. It was really windy! Dust flies everywhere over there.
We'd hoped for a "small town" feeling, and friendly people. That's what Idaho Falls, ID is.
Our hotel was across the street from this. I had a vague idea what that white building really was, or what it meant to this town...
I remember eating Mother's Day dinner at Outback Steakhouse, since it was Mother's Day, I was gifted a flower. We checked into a much nicer motel, across from the "falls" on the greenbelt. Neither of us felt very good, and I think we ended up taking a nap. The higher altitude really does a number on a person! We're talking 4,700 ft. above sea level, and we were about 300 at hilltop Oregon City, If that!
So, the next morning, I take my husband "to work" and meet his potential boss. Interesting.
The rest of the day, I looked around town, and drove around neighborhoods looking at houses. I spoke to a realtor about possibly moving into the area, and he was going to get us some homes to look at if we were to come back. Great! Off to a good start at least!
Well, this is what he wants. He knows he can do well here, and after returning home from our "trip", he received the call that he was hired.
Good thing we had a trailer house! We packed it up, drove to Idaho Falls, and stayed at a KOA with our boys while looking for a place to live.
What a phenomenal time in our lives this was~
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Springtime changes
Throwing Mother's day into that mix, I get my birthday, which feels special to me, but not much gets done in the way of celebrating unless my friends do something for me.
Then, my baby girl celebrates her birthday, 13 days after mine...and most likely, Mother's day is just before or just after her birthday.
This year, she has her birthday on the actual day she was born...Saturday May 12th, the day before Mother's day.
Every spring, as the blooms come out on the trees and shrubs, I remember my Grandma Mary's front yard. Since Kindergarten, (with paper crown on head) I got my picture taken in front of her Hot Pink Azalea bush with her, until I was 18!
I don't know if I even have most of the photos, as I wasn't given all of the things I asked for when my parents passed away, so who knows what happened to all of my pictures. Maybe burned, from what I read elsewhere. (suzanneshumaker.blogspot.com)
There were years I hated getting my picture taken with my grandma. I was pubescent and thought I was so over getting my birthday picture taken, I hated my hair, I hated what my mother made me wear, white knee socks were so not the thing to wear at 12 when you couldn't shave your legs or wear nylons!
So now, as my daughter turns the ages that I was when I had these feelings, it sheds some light on her clothing choices, how she wears her hair, and I SOOOO learned from MY mother that its not the hair or the clothes that make the person.
Although I had to wear those handmade dresses, (which I was allowed to picked the fabrics and patterns; mostly) but I know if my daughter doesn't wear what I prefer, she's probably going to be a bit more confident, self-respecting, and mother loving person than I was.
It's called "choosing your battles". I'm all over choosing to have a happy, confident daughter that likes me, than a rebellious daughter that doesn't want to be in the same room with me.
I don't believe it's spoiling her, I believe it's letting her be who she is, and not conforming to what my friend's daughters do/wear/act like, etc. --which was exactly the upbringing I had. To "show" what kind of a mom my mother was to me. (I assume)
So, as I celebrate my daughter heading into pre-teenage years, I remember those awkward years growing up the way I did, and the devastation of white knee socks and homemade dresses, Lord help me to not make my daughter a dress such as that and let her wear what she chooses on her feet. In Jesus name <3
Saturday, May 5, 2012
"It's going down NOW!"
She stopped me before I could get into the truck to drive home.
"How come you're spending all your time with your mother in law and sister in law?"
How do you answer that? I couldn't very well say, "Because my husband likes them more?"
That would just be too offensive. Frankly, I was a bit offended that she'd come right out and ask me that. I just shrugged, and said I didn't know.
She stood there with that disappointing frown she always got when she didn't like something I said. I was utterly shaking inside. My hands felt kind of cold and sweaty. I was just terrified we were having this conversation outside the Oregon City Swimming Pool on the sidewalk!
"Going to church used to be important to you." She stated.
"Well, It's not anymore." which wasn't totally the truth. Learning about God, Jesus and their plan for me and my family was more important that going to sing 10 songs, and play on the stairs afterwards while talking about Disneyland and the upcoming parties.
"Things have changed, we don't feel like we used to." I tried to explain. "Why don't you come up and we can talk, this isn't the place to have this conversation." I walked toward the truck, and she to her car. I immediately reached for my cell phone and dialed my husband at work. Trying to hide it so she couldn't see I was calling him. This was a quick 3 minute drive, at best, from the swimming pool to our house.
"It's going down....NOW...you need to come home. NOW!!" I was still shaking, he hung up, maybe some words were exchanged, but he knew exactly what I was talking about. He was on his way.
The drive seemed shorter than I thought it would be, I had just barely hung up (Yes, in 1999, I drove a truck and talked on the phone!) and pulled into the driveway. She was right behind me. I went into the house, pretending not to see she was already there, getting out of her car.
My sister in law and mother in law were in my house already, all I remember is walking straight in the house, they were on the couch, and I went into the hall bathroom. I turned to go out of the bathroom, and I whispered to my sister in law, as she was heading into the bathroom, "It's going down. She wants to know why we don't go to church anymore, I called my husband, he's on his way!!" and she took the kids with my mother in law and they went to the park or somewhere so we could talk alone.
My mother was RIGHT there, behind me, I think she could've heard me whispering to my sister in law, but she followed me out to the living room, and my sister in law and mother in law were already on their way to the car with the boys.
"Let's sit down." I sat in the rocking chair, she sat on the couch. I didn't know where to start other than, "Going to church used to be important to me, but not anymore."
She didn't like that.
"I don't think we'll be going back." I think is what I mentioned.
To my relief, my husband walked through the front door.
"You called him!?" she screamed, "and didn't let me call dad!?" she started to cry I think.
The next little bit is what I THINK happened, as I'm still kind of shaking 13 years later, typing this, I can't quote exact words here.
"Hi, How's it goin'?" my husband asked her.
"Yes, I called him on my way home from the pool. I thought he needed to be able to tell you what you wanted to know." I tried to stay calm. "Would you like to call dad?"
So she did. She told him she was at my house, and my husband was there and could he come up?
How awkward was this. I'm sure there was conversation, but I honestly don't remember it.
So, just a bit later, (they were maybe 15 min. from our house driving the back way) my dad walked through our front door. "What's all this about?" I think he said.
I think my husband started out by saying, "We don't plan on going out to church anymore." and my dad said, "Well, that's a great birthday gift!" but not in a happy way, "I figured this was coming." He added.
This was not the reaction I thought he'd have...I was thinking to myself....Really?! What made you think that? No church attendance in over 3 months? Wow, you catch on fast!
Maybe they put off talking to us so long the same reason we put off talking to them so long...we didn't want this to be over, and we knew that's what was going to happen.
"Well, where do we stand with the boys?" he asked.
"They're your grandchildren!" I said loudly, "That doesn't change anything. You're still their papa and gram."
"I will do whatever it takes to ensure you have a relationship with my kids." my husband assured him and my mom.
They needed some time to think this over. "How about we think about this, and we'll get back to you next week?" my dad asked.
Hmm. I think there's hope after all! IF they're not completely decided on walking out of here now, forever, I'm sure they won't totally disown us forever! Well, I was a bit too hopeful that we could search for a different church, (while we still lived there) and my kids could see their gram and papa on occasion, just not at church. Nothing should change...
"We won't say anything to anyone about this, we'll think about it, and meet with you again to discuss our decision." he said. They left, and then...
Someone said something to someone else, because that evening, we started getting phone calls from people. My aunts, my cousins, I can't keep track who called.
A few calls stood out to me, because I barely knew them. Weird, I thought...since no one was supposed to know our conversation was had.
That was a hard few days. We had a garage sale, and it was awkward that people came from church, but they must not have known we "left". There was a lady in a group of women that stood at the edge of my driveway while her girlfriends came into the garage and "shopped". She apparently knew we "left" so she wasn't going to set foot in our garage, but one woman bought a pair of toddler shoes for her grandson.
The conversation on the way back to their car was about how we left church.
Lots of stuff happened, lots of conversations, one or two visits from friends over this week...but let's get to the "going down" part.
{in the spongebob cartoon overvoice on TV}
"One week later..."
We agreed to meet with my parents, and they came over to our house. My mom had a card in her hand.
"Happy belated birthday." She handed me a card.
"Oh. Thanks." I said. She hugged me, we all sat down. The boys went to play in their room.
"Well," my dad started out, "We thought about it, and we feel that as long as you don't go out there, then we're not going to come around, and vice versa."
[Or something to that effect...those may not be his exact words, but we got the picture that they were saying we choose not to be in your lives anymore because you won't go sing 10 songs in that building.]
"Ok then," [or something like that] was said by my husband.
"Can we tell the kids?" my dad asked.
I can't remember what happened, or what was said next, but I do remember the look on my husband's face, and the tone in his voice, when he told them "No!"
Some words were exchanged, honestly, I can't remember exactly, but my parents got up off the couch and went out the door, saying they loved us.
huh.
I thought love was different than a condition of attending a meeting where 10 songs were sung and "doing" all these things for the glory of man.
OK, I guess I had some adjusting of thoughts to do about love.
I opened my birthday card, and found $40.
We took his mom and sister in law to Chevy's for lunch...a belated birthday lunch of course, but on my mom and dad's dime.
Monday, April 30, 2012
The big year of events
Sunday, April 22, 2012
My last Thursday night....
Thursday, April 19, 2012
The discussion that started it all...
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
proud parent moment(s) & Grace
My oldest son, Lucas, earned his Eagle Scout badge from Boy Scouts of America. We celebrated his achievement with his Eagle Court of Honor on Sunday along with some family, his troop members, and some friends from a bit further away. It was such a joyful occasion!
The ceremony was full of smiles, laughter and even a few tears.
Precious time with our friends and family that we'll never forget. After the cake had been eaten, and the soda had been drunk, we packed up all of the stars and scouting memorabilia, and headed home for a sweet visit with an out of town friend and my husband's oldest brother.
It's good to have family around. Family is a vital part of our lives. I have, over the years, adopted family members into my family (figuratively) and been adopted into a few families of my own...the biggest one, being God's family. I am more than happy to share my testimony of God, His son, (Him in the flesh), and the Holy Spirit that dwells in me with anyone who would hear, see, or believe.
This is a joyous time for our family, praying for what lies ahead for our son(s) & daughter, hoping for God's Grace and Mercy to be lavished on them as they grow in the Lord.
Please pray for our family, that we can SEE God's Mercies and Graciousness in our daily lives, sharing them through the fiery trials, temptations and tribulations we face as believers in Christ Jesus. My prayer for you is that if you DON'T know Jesus for who He is, what He did/does for us, that you please open a Bible, read it, pray for your eyes to be opened and your heart to receive God's Grace as he wipes your sins away...or, contact me shumag6@gmail.com
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Easter in a new light
Growing up, Easter to me was new dresses, new shoes, maybe a hat, gloves, and a purse...plus dying eggs, bunnies, egg hunts, candy, prizes, being with family and a big potluck.
It wasn't until Easter of 2000 did I understand what Easter meant to many.
Our first church service outside of Oregon City was at a church in Gladstone just before spring to see where we'd like to attend on that special church day. I had to take my children to church on Easter. We left what we grew up with, for hope of finding Jesus Christ.
"He is Risen" was being sung by the choir. Huh...yeah, he isn't dead, I knew that much.
Wow...what a celebration. These people loved Jesus...
Ever since that service, Jesus has been our reason to celebrate this special day. We celebrate His resurrection and sacrifice He made because of our sin and the salvation He gives freely to those who accept.
We have dyed eggs, we have had egg hunts, but we have not allowed the Easter bunny into our home for over 10 years. We try to bring Jesus into each celebration we have. I give my children chocolate crosses and remind them that Jesus sacrificed himself on the cross, defeated death, rose on the third day, like He promised...and lives...seated at the right hand of Our father in Heaven
This year, we didn't dye eggs nor have we hunted them...but it's not a religious reason...just too busy! It's not important to us as the kids grow. We dressed up (4 of us anyway), with one child sick home with daddy, I took three kids to church, had breakfast with friends and heard a wonderful sermon about Jesus.
For lunch, my daughter and I made resurrection rolls that were hollow inside just like Jesus' tomb.
Enjoy this resurrection day, even if you dye eggs and hunt them...remember Jesus tomb is empty and He is risen!!
Friday, April 6, 2012
We took him to a DOCTOR!?
Here we were, raising our two boys, and just weeks into our second son's life, I discovered a bulge in his groin. This was common among Follower families, (at least mine). My nephew had something similar prior to his return home from my parent's house after his birth. My sister, her husband, and their new baby lived at our home for what seemed like months...it maybe wasn't that long.
From what I remember about my son's experience, I called my mom, she told me to call my sister. My sister came over, and could find nothing wrong. The lump wasn't there. She said to keep an eye on it. Seemed like every time I had to change his diaper, it was there, and whenever I tried to show someone, it wasn't. My sister told me to call another woman in the church that had more experience with this condition. So, I made the phone call. She wasn't able to come over, since her child had chicken pox, but she told me some suggestions.
After describing what this lady told me, with my husband, he suggested taking our son to a doctor. WHAT? Really? He wanted me to go to a doctor? Whoa...
But his explanation was spot on. He said that instead of calling a bunch of women that don't have knowledge of what this was, to take him to someone that did have knowledge. What was the difference in calling a bunch of different think so ideas than finding the real reason behind it.
We talked about where we'd go from there. If the doctor said he'd need surgery, we'd think about that option, but wouldn't do anything without praying about it first. Let's just find out first.
I made an appointment at the Health Office in Oregon City. I was nervous, but had been there as a child with my own mother, getting some type of lotion for a rash my sister and I had. Once the appointment had been made, I asked my mom if she'd come with me to take him there, since my husband had to be at work. She turned her nose up at the idea, and said she didn't want to go with me. She did not support us taking our son to the health department, but she took my sister and I? I was confused. What was the difference of a rash we had, or a lump that my son occasionally had?
My mother-in-law and sister-in-law babysat my oldest son while I took the baby to the health department alone. I'm not sure why my mother-in-law didn't come, but it wasn't because she opposed it. My husband's family supported doing the right thing.
While at the doctor’s office, I was asked all kinds of questions about my baby. Who was his doctor, where is his shot record, did he have a PKU test? They made me strip my newborn and put him on a scale. They weren't very loving or friendly about it either. The nurses made a big deal about him having a hernia and he'd have to have surgery. They were kind of mean to me and intimidating because my newborn didn't have a pediatrician. When the friendly, male doctor arrived in the room, he put me at ease with a smile, and examined my baby. "Oh, this is a...." He explained. To this day I can't remember the name he used, but described it as fluid buildup. It was not a hernia like the nurse insisted it was. He did NOT need surgery.
The doctor said he'd seen it lots, and it typically goes away on its own in about a year's time. He said by the time my baby was walking, we would not even notice it. The doctor left, and the nurse stopped me in the hall and asked who delivered my baby. They then attempted to take a PKU test. She ripped his sock off and tried poking his heel. I was disgruntled, and grabbed the sock back and covered his feet with his blanket as I walked out to the car.
By this time, my son was screaming. We had not gotten off on a very good nursing habit and he was hungry and upset at all of this commotion. I was practically in tears. I tried nursing him in the car, but he would have no part of it. I put him back in his car seat, screaming all the way home. What a nightmare.
But, thankfully, we could rest in the fact that it was not life threatening, he wouldn't sustain any harm from whatever this was, and eventually, it would go away. This could be a long first year...
In our experiences, with sickness and injuries, we anointed with olive oil. So, after sharing with my husband the prognosis of our son's affliction, he told me to anoint him every day and we'll pray that he's healed. So, we did just that. When my husband cared for him, he'd anoint him, when I cared for him, I would anoint him. It didn't seem to bother our baby, but we kept on even when we didn't see the big bulge. Faithfully, every day, we anointed him, praying for healing in Jesus’ name.
It seemed like the right thing to do...pray for someone that was afflicted, injured, or sick. We all met over at my mother's bedside praying for her, as she lay in bed afflicted with the swollen belly. She had been down for what seemed to be a couple of weeks, and our baby was probably a month old or better. While my sisters and I were in her room, visiting, I explained to them we'd like them to pray for our baby. I told them what was the matter, but leaving out the part that I'd "taken him in". My oldest sister rose up out of her chair, and loudly voiced her opinion of no, she would not pray for him, as we'd taken him to a doctor. Her words to my knowledge were, "Oh, you take him to a doctor and THEN want us to PRAY for him?" as she stormed out of my mother's bedroom.
Wow! I sat in awe. I was speechless! How can one say they are a follower of Christ and deny prayer to another humbly asking? My mom just laid there, shocked at her daughter's response. I can't even remember what happened after that.
I believe our son was about three months old, when we noticed the last few times we had anointed him, we didn't see any bulge. I'm not sure if it got smaller over time, or what, but he was not nearly one year old when this fluid buildup was gone. Our prayers had been answered, he had been healed. We thanked God for his mercy with our son.
Imagine, God having mercy on someone who went to a doctor. God is good, and we believed that.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Births of our first two...
Fast forwarding two years and three months later...
Son number two was born at my parents house (new location) as they finally made the move to Oregon City like most of the other congregation we belonged to. Even though my wordly sister in law was not allowed at my first baby's birth, she'd came back to church, so she was technically allowed, but my oldest sister opposed the idea by protesting she couldn't go if Suzanne were there, as per her husband's rule. Come to find out, that was a lie...her husband denied saying she couldn't go when my husband confronted him about it. So...to keep the peace, Suzanne didn't go. I honestly to this day, feel badly about this decision. But, I wasn't a wave maker like my husband had been accused of being.
Suzanne was allowed to come visit, without secretly sneaking her in like we did the last time I gave birth to her nephew.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Our beginning
My dad, me, him and my mom Sept. 10, 1993